Just 4 Laugh

[Lakshmipathi]

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage
anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single
conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had
gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known
"happy going marriage".

Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this
possible?"


Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been to Shimla
for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally,
we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay
but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On
the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and
said” This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued
with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again
kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued. When the
horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from
the purse and shot the horse dead!!



I shouted at my wife: "What did you do ...you psycho. You killed the

poor animal. Are you crazy?" .




She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."


Husband: “That’s it. We are happily married ever after. "

[FeestBijtje]

I think it needs more salt...

[geese]

i got a chuckle.

[Lakshmipathi]

Few more stuff to relax: (just to relax don't take this seriously )

(If you got some stuff like this at ur inbox .. do share it )

If You Love Someone



THE ORIGINAL QUOTE

If you love someone,

Set her free...

If she comes back, she's yours,

If she doesn't, she never was....



THE NEW VERSIONS ARE .....



Pessimist:

If you love someone,

Set her free ...

If she ever comes back, she's yours,

If she doesn't, as expected, she never was





Optimist:

If you love someone,

Set her free ...

Don't worry, she will come back.





Suspicious:

If you love someone,

Set her free ...

If she ever comes back, ask her why .





Impatient:

If you love someone,

Set her free ...

If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.





Patient:

If you love someone, Set her free ..

If she doesn't come back,

continue to wait until she comes back ...





Playful

If you love someone,

Set her free ...

If she comes back, and if you love her still,

set her free again, repeat ...





C++ Programmer:

if(you-love(m_she))

m_she.free()

if(m_she == NULL)

m_she = new CShe;





Anima l-Rights Activist :

If you love someone,

Set her free,

In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!



Lawyers:

If you love someone,

Set her free,

Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second

Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom





Biologist :

If you love someone,

Set her free,

She'll evolve.







Statisticians :

If you love someone,

Set her free,

If she loves you, the probability of her coming

back is high

If she doesn't, your relation was improbable

anyway.



Schwarzenegger's fans:

If you love someone,

Set her free,

SHE'LL BE BACK!



Over possessive person :

If you love someone

don't set her free.



MBA :

If you love someone set her free instantaneously

and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist :

If you love someone

set her free

If she comes back her super ego is dominant

If she doesn't come back her id is supreme

If she doesn't go, she must be crazy .



Somnabulist (that's a person who studies sleep) :

If you love someone

set her free

If she comes back it's a nightmare

If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.



ERP functional expert :

If you love someone

set her free

If she comes back, map her into your system

If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis



Finance expert :

If you love someone

set her free

If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans

If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.



Marketing Specialist :

If you love someone

set her free

If she comes back she has brand loyalty

If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market



American President:

If you love someone

Set her free

If she comes back she must be carrying weapons of mass destruction, so attack Iraq

If she doesn't, it's the work of Osama so attack Afghanistan

[ryokimball]

THE BILL GATES VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free… If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and tell her that she’s also going to get an upgrade.

[ryokimball]

Oh, yeah...
I was looking for something (and completely forgot what) when I stumbled upon this.
It's almost like windows-bashing, but still might be entertaining enough to read. It might even explain some things, too, like why people "don't believe in Linux."

[Freston]

I think that if every computer _needs_ Microschoft, that every computer should come with a license to run a windows. Then there would be justice for all. Did you know that a laptop manufacturer from the European socialist country Denmark even withholds you from a windows license. Yes! That's right! If you choose any of their default installations you don't get a windows. As if anyone could use a computer like that. And they charge you extra if you choose to have the proud Vista. That's like driving a car without a handbrake

But all the hackers know the unpronounceable *nix desktop comes with the secret Microsoft code; without which your computer can't even power up.


____
Oh! I claim patent on that idea! Let my name be included on every document or writing on that idea, and negotiate my permission on the execution of any action that may have derived out of that idea. I claim Microsoft-tax as my intellectual property. I don't think anyone has done that. I'm gonna be rich

[MikeTbob]

And back to the jokes. The last joke thread we had got locked down and tempers flared over some objectionable jokes from a particular Forum member, I'll only use the mild jokes here.
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking, ?"
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"

If you really want to get a laugh, go to your local retail store (Wal-Mart). Go into one of the fitting rooms and shout loudly, HEY there's no toilet paper in here.

[elija]

Most humour will offend somebody....

The funniest guys I know spends most of his time taking the
micky out of disabled people....

[fairly harmless examples]
What's the hardest part of vegetable to eat?
The Wheelchair

What do you call three wheelchairs in a pile?
A vegetable rack
[/fairly harmless examples]

The funniest thing though was when he loudly told the veggie
rack joke in a very crowded pub. Various people took offence.
And one even threatened to get violent. That's not the funny
part.

The funny part was how their attitude changed when they saw
he is in a wheelchair. His reasoning is...

"I can tell these jokes because I'm allowed"

Most of his others are definitely unfit to write here but would
be brilliant if we ever persuade him to get on stage as a "roll
on" comedian. A term he finds offensive because it makes him
sound like a deodorant!

[Lakshmipathi]

"a particular Forum member"

I'm a just bit curious - how is that member