jokes / funny stuff thread

[rokytnji]

The girls here oughta love this one

University scientists have released the results of a recent analysis
that reveals the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should
take a concerned look at their beer consumption. It turns out that
the "hops" in beer contain certain phyto-estrogens, and scientists
believe that by drinking enough beer, men may turn into women.
In this study, 100 male volunteers were asked to drink eight pints of
beer in one hour. The results were observed and recorded. At the
end of one hour, every single test subject had developed female
characteristics, and the test was terminated.

The data is provided below.

After one hour, 100% of the test subjects:

1) gained weight
2) talked excessively without making sense
3) became overly emotional
4) couldn't drive
5) failed to think rationally
6) argued over nothing
7) had to sit down while urinating
refused to apologize when obviously wrong


No further testing was considered necessary.

[Freston]

lol@rokytnji

A friend of mine, she's always on about how women are better than men. I can't wait to tell her that joke


old but funny

[rokytnji]

Loved the commercial Freston. Always wanted one of those Cushman trikes for myself.

[rokytnji]

Old but funny also

YouTube - The Greatest Prank Call Ever

[cousinlucky]

Thanks Rokytnji!!

The jewelery store check story almost made me fall off of my chair!!

[Freston]

Keep 'em coming

Friday afternoon!
Everytime Mike, the chef of the department checks, he sees Bob not doing much. Bob, on his first day as a salesman hardly seems to show any promise. Mike is concerned, and as the department store closes, he walks up to Bob and asks how much revenue he made that day.

Oh, some $ 232,839.16 says Bob. Mike is struck, What?? he asks, how??

Oh, Bob says, easy. That man I sold the fishing hooks to also needed a good fishing rod and a better reel. And when I asked where he wanted to fish, he mentioned a lake I know pretty well. I said you needed a boat there to have the best catches. You know that motor yacht we had on display? I sold that to him, along with a trailer.

But I asked what kind of car he drove, and he said he had an old Suzuki. We both doubted whether this old vehicle could pull the trailer, so I took him to the motor department and sold him a brand new model Jeep Cherokee.

What! the chef exclaimed. You sold all that to a man who came here for a fishing hook?? Oh no, Bob explained, he came here for aspirins for his wife. I just said: "your weekend is waisted already, you better go fishing"

[rokytnji]

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.'
'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonay.'

[rokytnji]

Q: What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

[cousinlucky]

Thanks again, Rokytnji! The wine joke got me.

[bdecker0922]

Lol...Loved them all. Been gone for a few days, couldn't go to work today, and reading everything put in me in fine spirits...KEEP EM COMING.........please...lol