Dating Poll 2009

[Jollie_kitten]

Kind of... let's just say two people are "dating" from the evening when they first kiss until they move in together. Makes sense, doesn't it?

[Jollie_kitten]

Oh BTW... I was reading this Happy Birthday, Deb Ian Murdock’s Weblog it's from 2005, and in 2007 they got divorced Life's not fair...

[saivin]

OMG...

I had thought they were 'made for eath other', 'marriage done in heaven' kinda pair...! Debian's name itself indicated Ian's love for her... What happened? Life's positively cruel...

[Jollie_kitten]

OMG...

I had thought they were 'made for eath other', 'marriage done in heaven' kinda pair...! Debian's name itself indicated Ian's love for her... What happened? Life's positively cruel...

I know... I know... I mean really: the guy invented an operating system and put her name there- how sweet is that? And then you get that feeling like: damn.. if they can't find true love, then who can?

[Freston]

Ah well, it's always a better ending than the ending of Reisers marriage


But I dunno, I'm divorced myself. I thought I had found the love of my life, but reality bites (as I think the expression goes). I had a couple of girlfriends since then, but (except for the last one, she was really sweet) they all turned out to be mistakes*).

Maybe I've grown cynical (oh god I hope not) but I don't think a divorce is such a bad thing. It's a new beginning, as much as it is an ending. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts a lot actually, but that's just a phase. You pick yourself up and keep on going. New horizons to explore. You know, two people who are both unhappy in their relationship can really *whatchacallit* bring each other down(?). That's not good for both of them.
I always say, it's better to be alone than with the wrong person.

What I'm trying to say is, that because they are divorced *now*, doesn't mean that their time together has been meaningless. What is true love anyway? Is that the kind of love that lasts forever? You can't know that in advance. If that is what you expect, then you can really feel you've thrown your life away if in twenty, thirty years the cumbersome toll of Real Life has taken the spirit out of your relationship. Take things as they come.




*) that may sound disrespectful, but my English isn't good enough to nuance that statement sorry. My English comes from books, technical books mainly. It shows

[disclaimer] I'm trying not to sound like I know it all, but I can't help it. English. Rest assured, everything I know of this subject only confuses me further. I'm just thinking out loud.

[Jollie_kitten]

I know.. Indeed, it's better to divorce than to remain in a toxic relationship; I guess people change, it's memories that remain- and that's why you've gotta have the wisdom to keep the good-ones only
The thing is... it's not about divorce in general... it's just that when you think that two ppl have a wonderful relationship, and then you see see them breaking up- you get that "life's not fair " feeling. See what I mean?

[Freston]

The thing is... it's not about divorce in general... it's just that when you think that two ppl have a wonderful relationship, and then you see see them breaking up- you get that "life's not fair " feeling. See what I mean?

Yeah, I know. I have a terrible time writing about this in English, so to use some liberty, I can understand something like this with my brain but I cannot understand it with my hearth.

[Jollie_kitten]

Yeah, I know. I have a terrible time writing about this in English, so to use some liberty, I can understand something like this with my brain but I cannot understand it with my hearth.

Mhm... makes sense; plus- you can never really understand a relationship from the outside

[saivin]

I know.. Indeed, it's better to divorce than to remain in a toxic relationship...

When I expressed shock on reading Jollie's earlier post and the link in it, I was not questioning the Individual's right to choose their course of life... Let's forget about Deb and Ian and his show of love for her by naming an distro... I am thinking about how a sweet relationship changes to 'toxic'.

When we are first in love everything seems to be so good, even their supposedly bad habbits does not bother us. When does all this change? Does that mean our love was not love at all but just infatuation or attraction to particular trait of a person, which we mistake for love?

Is there anything like true love at all? Or its just the animal passion/biological needs that drive us (which we in our conscious state, mostly are not willing to accept)?

[Jollie_kitten]

When I expressed shock on reading Jollie's earlier post and the link in it, I was not questioning the Individual's right to choose their course of life... Let's forget about Deb and Ian and his show of love for her by naming an distro... I am thinking about how a sweet relationship changes to 'toxic'.

When we are first in love everything seems to be so good, even their supposedly bad habbits does not bother us. When does all this change? Does that mean our love was not love at all but just infatuation or attraction to particular trait of a person, which we mistake for love?

Is there anything like true love at all? Or its just the animal passion/biological needs that drive us (which we in our conscious state, mostly are not willing to accept)?

I guess it's 'cause people change and life can make some of us bitter.... A long relationship requires a lot of patience and that's what we, modern people, tend to lack.