New to this forum

[morph]

Hi all!

I am new to this forum game but have been using Linux a lot at work and have just converted my PC for Lynx! Hope to help some users out as well as learn a lot myself!

Oh and here is a joke that made me laugh out loud:

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
The Coroner tells the Inspector: 'First body: An Italian , 60, died
Of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile.'

'Second body: 'Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the
Lottery, spent it all on whiskey, died of alcohol poisoning, hence the
Smile.'

The Inspector asked, 'What of the third body?'
'Ah,' says the coroner, 'This is the most unusual one. Danny O,Neil,
Irish,
30, struck by lightning.'
'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.
'Thought he was having his picture taken'.

[MikeTbob]

=-}
Hello and Welcome.

[teenytinylinuxgrl]

Welcome! I'm new too, but I've already been "adopted" and feel like part of some big wonderful new family. I hope you will feel the same way too!

Amy

[Lakshmipathi]

'Thought he was having his picture taken'.

Ha Ha..good one Welcome !!!

[bigtomrodney]

ಠ_ಠ




[Irish bloke sick of stereotypes]

Welcome to the forum all the same

[oz]

Welcome to the forums... hope you have fun here!

[Segfault]

I'm reading that post ... where's the joke?

--
O'Segfault

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities' brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman's or a Scotsman's brain could be bought for £500 but an Englishman's brain cost £10,000. That proves,' said The Englishman, 'that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.'
'No it doesn't,' said The Irishman, 'it just means that an Englishman's brain has never been used.'

[teenytinylinuxgrl]

Ohhhhhkaaaaaayyyy. I got one, and I'm a "redneck" girl so I'm only telling a joke on myself. Here goes:

Three construction workers - an Irishman, a Mexican, and a Redneck - always have lunch together. This time they're sitting on a beam, high above the ground, enjoying the view.

The Irishman opens his lunchbox. "Dammit!" he exclaims. "Corned beef and cabbage again! I'm sick of corned beef and cabbage! If I find corned beef and cabbage in this lunchbox when I open it tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off this beam! Life is just not worth living."

The Mexican finds burritos, and makes the same commentary and promise to end his life if he finds a burrito in his lunchbox the next day.

The Redneck, in solidarity with his friends, makes the same commitment if he finds another peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Next day:

Sure enough, all three men find the same meal in their lunchbox the next day, and each in turn dives to his death.

At the joint funeral:

The Irishman's wife, choking back tears, says, "If I had known he felt that way about corned beef and cabbage, I would have made him a shepherd's pie!"

"I would have made a taco salad," echoes the grief-stricken Mexican's wife.

"Don't look at me you too," snaps the Redneck's widow. "The dumb sonofagun always made his own lunch!"


Amy

[morph]

Thanks guys and girls for the welcome messages!

Appologies, I must admit when i read/posted it I didnt notice the nationalities!

Well I am looking forward to getting stuck in!

Thanks!

[Segfault]

Never mind, I'm Jewish BTW. Just be careful, it's an international community.