We've had our run...

[Tarthen]

Please don't take this seriously.

Guys. We might as well give up now. I just got my hands on the Windows 7 RC, and I'm sorry to say, it eclipses anything we can do.

I mean, come on. This brilliant OS comes with tons more features we could ever provide! Look at Ubuntu and then at 7, and you'll clearly see that 7 is better. It comes with MSN Live as a separate download, Windows XP Mode as a separate download, home users need not apply, and PowerShell! Powershell man! Why would they call it Powershell if it's not the best shell ever? I mean, it's not like bash is any good. I mean, you can make a one line webserver and package managers, but who would want to do THAT? With PowerShell, you can automate all kinds of things! Like, uh, remapping network drives after your poorly supported wireless drops out! And, uhm, add block comments!

They even added support for transparent window edges when maximised. How revolutionary is THAT? I mean, Compiz hasn't been able to do that for months, now has it? And Compiz is silly, with it's virtual desktops and desktop cube. I mean, who uses virtual desktops? And Aero is now even better! Now it only requires a minimum of 1GB of RAM to run! What if you don't have 1GB of RAM? Use Windows 7 Starter edition! It's so cheap, you won't care that you can't use multiple monitors, run in 64bit mode, or change your wallpaper! But if you do get Home Premium, remember your XP CD, as the much lauded Windows XP mode was... forgotten... yeah, forgotten... in that edition. But no matter, you'll still be able to play the excellent premium games! Chess has never been so premium!

Did I mention the new keyboard shortcuts? Don't ask me where you can change them, you don't need to! Microsoft are experts at this, and they know EXACTLY how we want to use our computer. And one excellent thing about Windows... it's actually possible to use all four useful functions of the OS! I mean, look at Linux. We barely use it all! Now on Windows, you get to do cool things! Like reinstalling your faulty mouse drivers! And us Linux users barely use the entire codebase - however, in Windows, a simple popup window in VB requires 75MB of .NET framework, which loads itself into your RAM! Now how useful is THAT! And you use all parts of the Windows kernel... like the 640x480 VGA driver until an official driver for your card is released, or the excellent blue screen! I mean, we almost never see a kernel panic - it's shameful! Microsoft put a lot of blood, sweat, and buggy code into the BSOD, we should be honored by it's showings every day!

Well, I'm not sure about you FOSS n00bs, but I'm going to go install my brand new, good looking, stable operating system on only one computer at a time, using the license key that will stop working after I've used the three transfers reformatting. I'll catch you and your Linux distros lat*BSOD*

[hazel]

Hilarious! btw is it true that Windows 7 can detect if you're using FOSS and get rid of it for you? I can think of a few guys who would really salivate at that.

[Tarthen]

Hilarious! btw is it true that Windows 7 can detect if you're using FOSS and get rid of it for you? I can think of a few guys who would really salivate at that.

Trusted Platform Computing - anything not signed by buy more like MS or trusted partners simply won't run.

[rokytnji]

Snicker. Alas. Windows 7 won't install on my IBM 390E. I guess I'll Have to junk it.

Wait! Lets see what FOSS has. Why it's AntiX 8.2. Lets install it . If it will install at all. So far so good. Lets Upgrade a bit and install Java 6u16. So far so good. Lets do wireless. So far so good. Hmmm. I wonder how much resources this Foss stuff is using? lets see. I got Opera 10 open and a few tabs open and I am in the reply section taking a screeshot and uploading via wireless on a P2, 198mb ram Laptop.



Hmmm. Not to bad. I guess I'll hafta pass on that Windows 7 Thingy. I guess I'll never know what wonders I am missing out on.

[cousinlucky]

Outstanding Satire Everyone!!

[elija]

OK, so its Windows / mac but it's really funny. ANd the comments are worth a read too

My Favourite comment

Try linux, you still get to use a PC rather than an a iNazi machine and you get the all-over-smugness of knowing you are using a superior OS to both Microsoft's and Apple's.

Plus it pisses pretty much everyone off when you say you are using linux as most people haven't got an effing clue what you are on about and you are left alone to just carry on.

Chose freedom, chose linux.

[Tarthen]

The really funny thing about Windows 7 is that every RC disk in every PC magazine in my state didn't have the drivers to run in VirtualBox. And there was no way I was letting it near ACTUAL hardware .

Although, I did install W7 Ulitmate Beta on my Eee. Hardware support sucked, none of the drivers worked, the SuperBar (tm) took up at least a fifth of my screen, Aero lagged like hell and I couldn't even get on the internet. Then I installed what was Ubuntu Eee 8.04 then, and everything worked. And now with Jaunty NBR, even with the Intel graphics recession, I can still run Compiz on the "highest effects" preset, with no lag, even when I underclock it to 800mhz (the fan's broke D: ). The Windows XP on it still lags opening OO.org (Jaunty NBR opens it in 10 or so seconds!! oh yeah!).

Although, I personally can't wait for Windows 7. It'll give the Linux and Mac desktop shares a bit of a boost.

[hazel]

OK, so its Windows / mac but it's really funny. ANd the comments are worth a read too

"OK, OK: I know other operating systems are available. But their advocates seem even creepier, snootier and more insistent than Mac owners."

Do we really come over like that? Do people stick with Windows just because we Linux users frighten them? I'd hate to believe that.

[Tarthen]

"OK, OK: I know other operating systems are available. But their advocates seem even creepier, snootier and more insistent than Mac owners."

Do we really come over like that? Do people stick with Windows just because we Linux users frighten them? I'd hate to believe that.

Yeah.

But I'm not helping that, I act all holier-than-thou when my friends kill their Vistas and I have to use my Linux USB to rescue it .

[Rubberman]

My lawyer uses Vista on his laptops, then it "lost" his CD/DVD drive. Seems that installing 3rd party video players "causes" that to happen by corrupting the registry. So, I boot my Linux recovery disc, backup his hard drive image to an external USB drive, reboot to Vista, try to restore his system to a known good snapshot - no luck. It toasted his system, so I restored it from the backup image, did some googling for this problem, and found a script to fix this problem on Microsoft's web site. He got his CD/DVD drive back, no data was lost, and he was ecstatic. I still haven't been able to convince him to move to Linux, but I'm working on him.

Conclusions? WIndows recovery software sucks. Linux (or something like it) is a necessary tool for Windows system recovery. Of course, I've been doing that (using Linux to recover Windows systems) for almost 10 years now...