Funny comments in distros.

**MASONTX** · 06-30-2010

In another thread it was mentioned that if you read the comments in file of some distro's you find some either funny or strange things commented. What is the funniest or strangest thing you have come across?

**Freston** · 06-30-2010

I'm sure there are better ones than these, but this is what I thought about:

When you boot up the install CD/DVD/image of the Slackware installer, you are prompted to login as root. This gives newbies (like myself one day) a problem, as you've never read about a password anywhere. But it doesn't ask for a password. It turns out that pressing [enter] also works.

The code responsible for all that is in the initrd of Slackware's install medium. I can't copy&paste the literal text atm, but it's along these lines:

Code:

tail /etc/rc.d.rc.S

echo "Please log in as root"
echo -n "slackware login: "
read bogus
# Haha, fooled you!

Another one I thought was funny, the man page of cdrecord.

Code:

# To really appreciate it, first run
ls --help
# then:
man cdrecord
# Scroll down to the BUGS section

Slackwares /etc/inittab

Code:

# Runlevel 4 used to be for an X window only system, until we discovered
# that it throws init into a loop that keeps your load avg at least 1 all 
# the time. Thus, there is now one getty opened on tty6. Hopefully no one
# will notice. ;^)

---

On a related note. I have a very easy and unsophisticated Bash script that goes through a csv file once in a while and outputs in a html table. The data in the csv file, because of some logic, have whitelines between sections. This Bash script can't handle the empty lines in the csv file elegantly, and it spits out unnecessary empty table rows because of that. And these table rows, because they are empty are squeezed real tight.
Now I thought first to add some Bash to filter out the empty lines, and add some code to make a separator between the sections. But it turned out these empty rows come out the printer exactly the way I would have wanted it if I handled it elegantly. So I added this in the html header:

Code:

<!--
      Generated by 'myscript.sh' version $VERSION at `date`
      Input taken from $INPUTFILE

      BUGS: ugly code does what I want
      who reads this is crazy
-->

It wouldn't be so much fun, but these html files are used in production, and are mailed to the managers

---

I can't name the vendor, but at work we have thin clients running Linux.

Now we've had some trouble with them, and their support is Real Slow, which prompted me to have a look inside these things. It turns out their whole system hangs together by Bash scripts, and these are pretty funny as well.

For example, a section that is commented out, commented upon by the line 'once department A makes up it's mind about topic B, re-enable this please
or
mail me if you wrote this, because I have no idea what's going on with VAR right now
or
customer wanted this, ugly ugly ugly but it's already paid for (love sales!)

***elija*** · 06-30-2010

One I wrote a while ago went something like

Code:

/*

This routine really really needs refactoring.
When we can hire someone who has evolved beyond the need for a physical form and who has a chance of understanding this, it may get done. On the other hand he'll probably be put to use centering text on the website for management.

*/

It was a truly horrible piece of code.

**Transmogrifox** · 06-30-2010

One time when first learning Debian package management I did some bad things inter-mixing use of deselect, dpkg, and apt (not understanding the relationship) that resulted in the packager wanting to remove the running kernel:

You are running a kernel ...[foo]... and attempting to remove
the same version. [...]

I repeat, this is very dangerous. If at all in doubt, answer
no. If you know exactly what you are doing, and are prepared to
hose your system, then answer Yes.
Remove the running kernel image (not recommended) [No]?

================================================== =

Since I was playing around & didn't care how badly I hosed my system, I answered "yes". Needless to say the next boot put me into a grub error message & minimal grub shell

. These days I probably could have recovered it, but then I just wiped the drive and started over. After that I began to learn how to do things the right way.

**Siddly** · 06-30-2010

A Unix programmer commenting on some code he once wrote, "God and I used to know how this code works, now only God knows".

**Mudgen** · 07-01-2010

The funniest thing I've ever run across in Unix or Linux is the manpage for the legacy syslogd daemon, now replaced by rsyslogd which doesn't have the same sense of humor. In the "Security Threats" section, it listed steps for mitigating abuse of the daemon. Steps 4 and 5:

4.

Disabling inet domain sockets will limit risk to the local machine.

5.

Use step 4 and if the problem persists and is not secondary to a rogue program/daemon get a 3.5 ft (approx. 1 meter) length of sucker rod* and have a chat with the user in question.

*Sucker rod def. - 3/4, 7/8 or 1in. hardened steel rod, male threaded on each end. Primary use in the oil industry in Western North Dakota and other locations to pump 'suck' oil from oil wells. Secondary uses are for the construction of cattle feed lots and for dealing with the occasional recalcitrant or belligerent individual.

**dolo724** · 07-01-2010

I installed Red Hat 5.1 in the late 90s, text mode install, and tried some of the different languages. My favorite: Redneck.

hoo-boy!

edit: not been long enuff, I gotta do it again. getting from ibiblio for an install into vBox.
must use boot image as a floppy, then choose the d/l directory as an install source. funn!

**abarclay** · 07-01-2010

in SunOS 4.x, the man page for tunefs used to say,
"You can tune a file system, but you can't tune a fish"

**arvigeus** · 07-01-2010

Code:

// 
// Dear maintainer:
// 
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// 
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//

Code:

// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments

Code:

Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up;  //ha ha

Code:

// Magic. Do not touch.

Code:

// drunk, fix later

Code:

long john; // silver

Code:

//This code sucks, you know it and I know it. 
//Move on and call me an idiot later.

Code:

#define TRUE FALSE //Happy debugging suckers

Code:

long long ago; /* in a galaxy far far away */

Code:

# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file

At the bottom of the file:

Code:

# To understand recursion, see the top of this file

Code:

/* Please work */

Code:

double penetration; // ouch

Code:

//Dear future me. Please forgive me. 
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

Code:

if(m_measures =/*=*/ --index)

Code:

// hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)

Code:

// If you're reading this, that means you have been put in charge of my previous project.
// I am so, so sorry for you. God speed.

Code:

//Abandon all hope yea who enter beyond this point

Code:

/**
 * If you don't understand this code, you should be flipping burgers instead.
 */

Code:

// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work

Code:

//  If you delete the credits, I will ****ing kill you.

Code:

/* Be a real daemon: fork myself and kill my parent */

Code:

//        .==.        .==.          
//       //`^\\      //^`\\         
//      // ^ ^\(\__/)/^ ^^\\        
//     //^ ^^ ^/6  6\ ^^ ^ \\       
//    //^ ^^ ^/( .. )\^ ^ ^ \\      
//   // ^^ ^/\| v""v |/\^ ^ ^\\     
//  // ^^/\/ /  `~~`  \ \/\^ ^\\    
//  -----------------------------
/// HERE BE DRAGONS

Code:

// This is crap code but it's 3 a.m. and I need to get this working.

Code:

// Remove this if you wanna be fired

Code:

// A Gorgon class - For the love of Zeus don't look directly at it!

Code:

// Yes...I know this is repusive and stupid.
// But <%CompanyOwnerOrManagerToken%>, not knowing a thing about code,
// demanded I do it anyways. SO, go crap on their desk, not mine.
// K THX BYE

**Freston** · 07-01-2010

Code:

values of β will give rise to dom!

and

Code:

/* You are not expected to understand this */

Explained here (among others)

[magic|more magic]

Funny printer error: Printer on fire

I can't remember in which program it was, but in a man page under BUGS:

Code:

BUGS
As of this version all bugs have been fixed. We look forward to new ones.

On the other hand, my co-workers (Windows types) think 'Kernel Panic' is really really funny when they see it occasionally. Not funny because of the crash, but just the message itself they like.

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