Find the answer to your Linux question:
Page 14 of 29 FirstFirst ... 4 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 24 ... LastLast
Results 131 to 140 of 286
Like Tree129Likes
A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I ...
Enjoy an ad free experience by logging in. Not a member yet? Register.
  1. #131
    Linux User TaZMAniac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    269

    Wine


    A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you." Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking? She replies, "It's me ..... talking to the wine."
    nujinini likes this.

  2. #132
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    676
    Thanks Gentlemen!!
    PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
    Linux user # 414321
    You Should Not Give In To Evils, But Proceed Ever More Boldly Against Them!! -from book six of Virgil's Aeneid
    Everything Within The Universe Is Related; We Are All Cousins!!

  3. #133
    Linux Engineer nujinini's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,272
    The Frog and Golf


    A man takes the day off work and
    Decides to go out golfing.
    He is on the second hole when he
    Notices a frog sitting next to the green.
    He thinks nothing of it and is
    About to shoot when he Hears,

    Ribbit 9 Iron.'

    The man looks around and doesn't
    See anyone.
    Again, he hears, 'Ribbit 9 Iron.'
    He looks at the frog and decides to
    Prove the frog wrong, he got another club.
    Boom!
    He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
    He is shocked.
    He says to the frog,
    'Wow that's amazing.
    You must be a lucky frog, eh?
    The frog replies,

    'Ribbit Lucky frog.'

    The man decides to take the frog
    with him to the next hole.
    'What do you think frog?'
    The man asks.

    'Ribbit 3 wood.'

    The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
    Boom! Hole in one.
    The man is befuddled and doesn't know
    What to say.
    By the end of the day, the man golfed the
    Best game of golf in his life and
    asks the frog,
    'OK where to next?'
    The frog replies,

    'Ribbit Las Vegas ..


    'They go to Las Vegas
    and the guy says,
    *'OK frog, now What?'
    The frog says, 'Ribbit Roulette.'
    Upon approaching the roulette table,
    The man asks,
    'What do you think I should Bet?'
    The frog replies,

    'Ribbit $3000, black 6.'

    Now, this is a
    million-to-one shot to win, but
    after the golf game the man
    Figures what the heck.

    Boom!
    *Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
    The man takes his winnings and
    buys the best room in the Hotel.
    He sits the frog down and Says,
    'Frog, I don't know how to repay you.
    You've won me all this money and
    I am forever grateful.'
    The frog replies,

    'Ribbit KissMe.'

    He figures why not,
    Since after all the frog did for Him,
    He deserves it.

    With a kiss, the frog turns into a
    gorgeous 15-year-old girl.

    'And that,

    your honor, is how the girl
    ended up in my room.



    So help me God
    Or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.'
    nujinini
    Linux User #489667

  4. #134
    Linux Engineer MASONTX's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Mason Texas
    Posts
    929
    Thanks Nujinini
    nujinini likes this.
    Registered Linux user #526930

  5. #135
    Penguin of trust elija's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Either at home or at work or down the pub
    Posts
    3,305
    Once there was a marine biologist, who who specialised in studying dolphins. He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make dolphins live forever!

    Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realised that, in order to mass produce this serum, he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American myna bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, however, he decided that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds.

    As he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The Lion’s name was Leo, which wasn’t too original of a name for a lion if you ask me, but it’s probably not important to the story. Anyway, the zoo keepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep since it was the Lion’s regular nap time anyway.

    Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and stole his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he stepped absent-mindedly over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car. Immediately, 15 policemen converged on him and arrested him for wait for it...



    ...


    ...


    ...


    Transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises!

    I'm sorry but Nujinini's joke reminded me of this one
    rokytnji and nujinini like this.
    What do we want?
    Time machines!

    When do we want 'em?
    Doesn't really matter does it!?


    Conkybots: Interactive plugins for your Conkys!

  6. #136
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    I can be found either 40 miles west of Chicago, or in a galaxy far, far away.
    Posts
    11,159
    Re. nujinini

    ROFLMAO! Best I've (re)heard in a long time!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  7. #137
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    I can be found either 40 miles west of Chicago, or in a galaxy far, far away.
    Posts
    11,159
    Re: elija

    Transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises!
    Best pun I've seen in quite a while! Tanks!
    nujinini likes this.
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  8. #138
    Linux Engineer nujinini's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,272
    Thanks everyone for liking the joke. My pleasure!
    nujinini
    Linux User #489667

  9. #139
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    3,855
    It boggles the mind (insert sarcasm here)

    ‪Miss USA 2011
    Linux Registered User # 475019
    Lead,Follow, or get the heck out of the way
    Tech Books
    Free Linux Books
    Newbie Guide
    Courses at Home

  10. #140
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    I can be found either 40 miles west of Chicago, or in a galaxy far, far away.
    Posts
    11,159
    Quote Originally Posted by rokytnji View Post
    It boggles the mind (insert sarcasm here)

    ‪Miss USA 2011
    Arrrrgh!!!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

Page 14 of 29 FirstFirst ... 4 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 24 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •