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Originally Posted by rokytnji It boggles the mind (insert sarcasm here) ‪Miss USA 2011 I don't even have a smart-mouth comment for that... And I think it's because my IQ ...
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  1. #141
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokytnji View Post
    It boggles the mind (insert sarcasm here)

    ‪Miss USA 2011
    I don't even have a smart-mouth comment for that...
    And I think it's because my IQ just slipped 3 or 4 points.
    Jay

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  2. #142
    Linux Engineer MASONTX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokytnji View Post
    It boggles the mind (insert sarcasm here)

    ‪Miss USA 2011
    Were the girls they interviewed, Miss taken, Miss read, Miss informed, Miss managed, Miss quote, Miss understood, Miss educated, Miss led, Miss used, and Miss spoken?
    elija and Rubberman like this.
    Registered Linux user #526930

  3. #143
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    Test your reflexes - try to touch cursor to nose...

    http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/slaan.html
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  4. #144
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    This was emailed to me today!

    Childbirth at 65

    (Too good not to pass on, Enjoy!)

    With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old
    friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the
    hospital and went home, I went to visit.

    'May I see the new baby?' I asked

    'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'

    Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

    'No, not yet,' She said.

    After another few minutes had elapsed,

    I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

    'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

    Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

    'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

    'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'
    'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM,O.K.?'...
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  5. #145
    Linux Guru Lakshmipathi's Avatar
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    What is the problem? My computer won't start.
    Is the power cord plugged in? I can't tell, it's dark in here.
    Why is it dark in there? Power failure.
    Do you still have the box your computer came in? Yes
    I want you to pack it up and return it to the store. Why? Is it defective?
    NO! Cause you are too (explicative) stupid to own a computer!
    First they ignore you,Then they laugh at you,Then they fight with you,Then you win. - M.K.Gandhi
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  6. #146
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    So imagine that you are the Network Admin...

    Attachment 3642
    Jay

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  7. #147
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jayd512 View Post
    So imagine that you are the Network Admin...

    Attachment 3642
    The caption should have read ... "You are SO screwed!" ... :roflmao:
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  8. #148
    Linux Engineer MASONTX's Avatar
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    How do they get air flow with that mess?
    Registered Linux user #526930

  9. #149
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MASONTX View Post
    How do they get air flow with that mess?
    Dude, if that was my new job position... that would be the least of my concerns!
    Jay

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  10. #150
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

    He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

    The welfare clerk behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent". We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

    "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

    The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're gotta be kidding me!"

    The welfare clerk said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."
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