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My new bash script. Code: cd /fridge/beer | drink && fallover...
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  1. #261
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    My new bash script.

    Code:
    cd /fridge/beer |  drink && fallover
    Lakshmipathi likes this.
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  2. #262
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokytnji View Post
    My new bash script.

    Code:
    cd /fridge/beer |  drink && fallover
    LOL!

    Truly a bash!
    Jay

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  3. #263
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    I vote for
    cd /liquor-cabinet ; open Glenlivet ; pour double-shot ; drink
    Repeat as necessary!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  4. #264
    Linux User TaZMAniac's Avatar
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    Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation .

    They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy . As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc .

    The next morning they went to the beach
    Dressed in their 'tourist' garb . They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them . . They couldn't help but stare .

    As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by . They were both stunned . How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits .

    These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine . After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them . Again she nodded at each of them, and said

    'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walk away . One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady . ' 'Yes, Father?'

    'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?' She replied,

    'Father, it's me, --- Sister Kathleen ..'
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  5. #265
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    Thanks TaZManiac! This definitely had me ROFLMAO! Kudos for a great story/joke!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  6. #266
    Linux Engineer nujinini's Avatar
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    Choose your Password Well

    A lady is helping her husband installing his computer, then having completed that successfully, she said that he now
    should have a password that he would easily remember, so that he would be able to use his computer when it asked
    him his password.

    Being a bit of a He man, he winks at his wife and says "_enis", as he enters the password and presses the mouse button, his wife bursts into a hysterical fit of laughter.......

    The computer responded: "Too Short, entry refused"

    rokytnji likes this.
    nujinini
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  7. #267
    Trusted Penguin Dapper Dan's Avatar
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    A hooker was getting really annoyed at a lump of coal being left under her tree every Christmas so she decided to confront Santa. Sure enough, Santa slid down her chimney on Christmas Eve and proceeded to pull a large lump of coal from his bag to place under the tree. The hooker stepped out and confronted him asking: "Santa, I want to know why you don't leave me decent presents but instead leave a lump of coal under my tree every year?" Santa replied... "HO! HO! HO!
    nujinini likes this.
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  8. #268
    Linux Engineer MASONTX's Avatar
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    A man was complaining that woman had no sense of distance. He complained and complained until his wife had finally had enough and told him, "It is perfectly logical that women can't tell distance."
    "Why is that?" he challenged
    "Because all their life men have told them that (hold thumb and forefinger about 4 inches apart) that is 6 inches"
    MikeTbob likes this.
    Registered Linux user #526930

  9. #269
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Oh... SNAP!
    Jay

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  10. #270
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nujinini View Post
    Choose your Password Well

    A lady is helping her husband installing his computer, then having completed that successfully, she said that he now
    should have a password that he would easily remember, so that he would be able to use his computer when it asked
    him his password.

    Being a bit of a He man, he winks at his wife and says "_enis", as he enters the password and presses the mouse button, his wife bursts into a hysterical fit of laughter.......

    The computer responded: "Too Short, entry refused"

    That's a good one!!
    nujinini likes this.
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