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Originally Posted by rokytnji Health Tip: USA only If you can't afford Healthcare or a Doctor. Go to the Airport. You'll get a free Xray and Breast Exam. For a ...
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  1. #51
    Linux Engineer nujinini's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokytnji View Post
    Health Tip: USA only

    If you can't afford Healthcare or a Doctor.
    Go to the Airport.

    You'll get a free Xray and Breast Exam.
    For a free colonoscopy. Just tell em Al Qaeda sent ya.
    LOL all the way from southeast asia!!!
    nujinini
    Linux User #489667

  2. #52
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokytnji View Post
    Health Tip: USA only

    If you can't afford Healthcare or a Doctor.
    Go to the Airport.

    You'll get a free Xray and Breast Exam.
    For a free colonoscopy. Just tell em Al Qaeda sent ya.
    If it weren't so true, it would be funny...
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  3. #53
    Administrator MikeTbob's Avatar
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    A man was stopped by the game warden on a Lake with two buckets of fish. The game warden says to the man, "I'm going to need to see your fishing license."The man replied to the game warden, "I don't have a fishing license. Don't need one either, because I haven't been fishing." "What do you mean, you haven't been fishing?" says the Game Warden."Well sir, you see, these here are my pet fish." says the man."Pet fish?!" the warden replies."Yes, sir. Every night I bring these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.""That's a bunch of bull! Fish can't do that!"The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then says, "Well these fish sure can. Here, I'll show you. It took me years to train them to do this." "Okay, this I HAVE to see!!" The game warden is really curious now. The man pours the fish into the lake and stands there and waits. After several minutes, the game warden turns to the man and says "Well?"
    "Well, What?" the man responds. "Well, when are you going to call them back?" the game warden says. "Call who back?" the man asks. "The FISH." "Fish, what fish?"
    I do not respond to private messages asking for Linux help, Please keep it on the forums only.
    All new users please read this.** Forum FAQS. ** Adopt an unanswered post.

    I'd rather be lost at the lake than found at home.

  4. #54
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    A wife went to the living room and told her husband,"the kitchen sink is leaking, can you fix it?" Her husband said "do you see plumber stamped on my forehead?" The next day she went and told her husband "the front porch has a loose board, can you fix it?" Her husband said "do you see carpenter stamped on my forehead?" Her husband left for a week on business and when he returned he saw the porch and sink were fixed. He asked her who fixed them. She said "the new neighbor came and looked at the problems and said "he would fix them for a cake or sex." The husband asked which one did you choose. She replied with a smile..." Do you see BETTY CROCKER stamped on my forehead?"

  5. #55
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gdawg View Post
    She replied with a smile..." Do you see BETTY CROCKER stamped on my forehead?"
    LOL! Dude was askin' for it, though!

  6. #56
    Linux Engineer nujinini's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeTbob View Post
    A man was stopped by the game warden on a Lake with two buckets of fish. The game warden says to the man, "I'm going to need to see your fishing license."The man replied to the game warden, "I don't have a fishing license. Don't need one either, because I haven't been fishing." "What do you mean, you haven't been fishing?" says the Game Warden."Well sir, you see, these here are my pet fish." says the man."Pet fish?!" the warden replies."Yes, sir. Every night I bring these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.""That's a bunch of bull! Fish can't do that!"The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then says, "Well these fish sure can. Here, I'll show you. It took me years to train them to do this." "Okay, this I HAVE to see!!" The game warden is really curious now. The man pours the fish into the lake and stands there and waits. After several minutes, the game warden turns to the man and says "Well?"
    "Well, What?" the man responds. "Well, when are you going to call them back?" the game warden says. "Call who back?" the man asks. "The FISH." "Fish, what fish?"
    Hahaha! I've got one something similar to this!
    nujinini
    Linux User #489667

  7. #57
    Administrator MikeTbob's Avatar
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    A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in Northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn, the wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
    Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out and get some sun. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat.
    He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning ma'am. What are you doing?"
    "Reading a book," she replies. (thinking, isn't it obvious.)
    "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
    "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading"
    "Yes but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
    "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
    "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
    "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you can start at any moment."
    "Have a nice day ma'am, " and he left..........
    I do not respond to private messages asking for Linux help, Please keep it on the forums only.
    All new users please read this.** Forum FAQS. ** Adopt an unanswered post.

    I'd rather be lost at the lake than found at home.

  8. #58
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeTbob View Post
    "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you can start at any moment."
    "Have a nice day ma'am, " and he left..........
    Best thing I've seen today!

  9. #59
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    After all these fishing jokes I have to ask an off-topic question. Has anyone here read the classic Izaak Walton book, The Compleat Angler, first published in 1653? It's a wonderful book of fishing stories and poems of fishing. Quite the classic, which I read back in the 1960's. Anyway, here is a Wikipedia link to it: Izaak Walton - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  10. #60
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    BTW, The Compleat Angler is still in print, and available at Amazon.com.
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

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