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Life is sometimes stranger, and funnier than fiction! Being a computer illiterate I am sometimes amazed at the successful scams that some people get away with! If you can recall ...
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  1. #71
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    Life is sometimes stranger, and funnier than fiction! Being a computer illiterate I am sometimes amazed at the successful scams that some people get away with! If you can recall " Willard " the pet rat in the movie you might LOL, just like I did, reading this story yesterday in my New York newspaper!!
    Willard Lanham, Department of Education consultant, charged with stealing $3.6M from city schools
    PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
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    You Should Not Give In To Evils, But Proceed Ever More Boldly Against Them!! -from book six of Virgil's Aeneid
    Everything Within The Universe Is Related; We Are All Cousins!!

  2. #72
    Linux User TaZMAniac's Avatar
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    Two guys were in a bar and one said, "Did your hear the news? Mike is dead!"

    "Wooo, what happened to him?"

    "Well, he was on his way over to my house the other day and, when he arrived outside the house, he didn't brake properly and boom! He hit the pavement and the car flips up and he crashed through the sunroof. Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

    "What a horrible way to die!"

    "No, no, he survived that. That didn't kill him at all. So, he landed in my upstairs bedroom and he was all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

    "What a way to go! That's terrible!"

    "No, no, that didn't kill him. He survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing. He tries to pull himself up on the banister but, under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

    "Now, that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

    "No, no, that didn't kill him. He even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the cooker, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, and, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

    "Man, what a way to go!"

    "No, no, he survived that! He survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water, and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

    "Now, that is one awful way to go!"

    "No, no, he survived that. He ..."

    "Hold on, now. Just how did he die?"

    "I shot him!"

    "You shot him? Why did you shoot him?"

    "He was wrecking my house!"


  3. #73
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    TazMan, that was great! It kind of reminds me of Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers) getting attacked by his man-servant Kato! Total chaos and destruction, rolling through the apartment!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  4. #74
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    ROFL!

    Reminds me of the stuff in The Money Pit!

    Good stuff, bro!

  5. #75
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    Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

  6. #76
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    Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-****ing-believable!"

  7. #77
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bmonsterboy View Post
    Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "Iím lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
    That's a guy who's gonna get a boot up the butt!!

  8. #78
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    The World Ends On May 21, 2011

    I think I strained something from laughing so hard at this very strange
    Staten Island story and the comments being made about it!
    Is May 21, 2011 the end of the world? Staten Island man is betting on it | SILive.com

    You can see a picture of this man here!
    World will end on May 21 says ex-MTA worker Robert Fitzpatrick, who's putting money where mouth is
    Last edited by cousinlucky; 05-13-2011 at 03:34 AM.
    PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
    Linux user # 414321
    You Should Not Give In To Evils, But Proceed Ever More Boldly Against Them!! -from book six of Virgil's Aeneid
    Everything Within The Universe Is Related; We Are All Cousins!!

  9. #79
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cousinlucky View Post
    I think I strained something from laughing so hard at this very strange
    Staten Island story and the comments being made about it!
    Is May 21, 2011 the end of the world? Staten Island man is betting on it | SILive.com
    God: I created Man (humankind) in my own image, but I think I forgot to give them the common sense of a flea. Ok, let's see where this goes!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  10. #80
    Linux Engineer nujinini's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubberman View Post
    TazMan, that was great! It kind of reminds me of Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers) getting attacked by his man-servant Kato! Total chaos and destruction, rolling through the apartment!
    Rubberman!

    One of the most hilarious scenes regarding man servant Kato w/c was pronounced as Ketooooh is when Inspector Clouseau went home tired and wanted to cancel the attack orders.

    "I know I tell you not to believe anything I say about cancelling the attack orders. But tonight, I command you to believe!"

    Tummy ache laughing. He should have just done a

    # ps aux and have killed the process.
    nujinini
    Linux User #489667

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