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  1. #111
    Linux User TaZMAniac's Avatar
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    New book for men.

    http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a76...96945357_n.jpg

  2. #112
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TaZMAniac View Post
    I bet that's still the abridged version!
    Jay

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  3. #113
    Linux User TaZMAniac's Avatar
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    I'll take care of it.

    (This takes place at a US government agency. We’ve released an RFQ for a major computer purchase: one new large mainframe system replacing two smaller and much older systems. I’m the sysadmin for all three. It’s currently October of 1994.)

    Me: “I’m going to need some help with the migration when the new machine gets here. I want either Bill or Dave to assist me.”

    Boss: “It won’t be here for a while, right?”

    Me: “Right, not until March. I just wanted to give you a little lead time on getting an assistant, so you could arrange it with their manager.”

    Boss: “Okay. Remind me again when it gets a little closer to the time.”

    Me: “No prob…”

    (January, 1995)

    Me: “The contract for the new machine has been awarded. You asked me to remind you about getting an assistant.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

    (February, 1995)

    Me: “They’re starting to build the machine. It should ship early next month. I still need an assistant.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

    (March, 1995)

    Me: “The machine is being shipped tomorrow. I still need an assistant.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

    (Late March, 1995)

    Me: “The machine is on our receiving dock. I still need an assistant.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

    (End of March, 1995)

    Me: “The machine is in the computer room. They’re starting to hook up the power. I still need an assistant.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

    (April, 1995)

    Me: “The machine’s up and running. I still need an assistant.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

    (May, 1995)

    Me: “The machine’s been running for a month, and I’ve begun the migration, but I still need an assistant.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ll take care of it…”

    (September, 1995)

    Boss: “Why aren’t you finished yet?!”
    MikeTbob likes this.

  4. #114
    Linux User TaZMAniac's Avatar
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    Kohl's Does What?!!!

    Kohls+does+what_b862b4_3534122.jpg
    rokytnji and MikeTbob like this.

  5. #115
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TaZMAniac View Post
    Tips From An Old Man!!

    A woman receives her primary energy from the earth. Her " antennae " to receive that energy is her ovaries. If her ovaries are in harmony with the earth her feet will be straight or point inward when she walks / \ . No matter her education or intelligence such women have far more power and appeal than women whose feet turn outward when they walk \ / . These women do not have harmonious ovaries with the earth; so they are like a snowy TV screen with lots of interference. These women are extremely hard to deal with on a regular basis. They seem to be a different person every day.
    PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
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  6. #116
    Super Moderator Roxoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cousinlucky View Post
    Tips From An Old Man!!

    A woman receives her primary energy from the earth. Her " antennae " to receive that energy is her ovaries. If her ovaries are in harmony with the earth her feet will be straight or point inward when she walks / \ . No matter her education or intelligence such women have far more power and appeal than women whose feet turn outward when they walk \ / . These women do not have harmonious ovaries with the earth; so they are like a snowy TV screen with lots of interference. These women are extremely hard to deal with on a regular basis. They seem to be a different person every day.
    Dammit - when I pass my eyes down an attractive lady, I never get as far as her feet...
    jayd512 likes this.
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  7. #117
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jayd512 View Post
    I bet that's still the abridged version!
    I've been married to the same woman for 38 years, and I STILL don't understand her!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  8. #118
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    looking at women

    Roxoff, a young man's eyes and his ego are his very worst handicaps especially when it comes to women and women are very aware of those massive weaknesses of ours!! I look at a woman's feet first because no matter what she looks like on the outside; it is her internal make-up that really matters.

    That internal make-up manifests itself it many ways on the outside if you are aware of what to look for. A woman's internal energy can be either male or female and can be determined by her knees; thin bony
    knees indicate male internal energy and wide thick knees indicate female internal energy.

    The larger the space between the bottom of a woman's nose and her top lip; the more she likes the opposite sex. ( Actress Sandra Bernhard has very little space there as an example. )

    A woman's breasts and her hips are where her body starts to put excess waste when she can not get rid of it!!
    PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
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  9. #119
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    My way of looking at whether I like a girl or not.

    Cooking.

    Then the looks dept kicks in.
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  10. #120
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokytnji View Post
    My way of looking at whether I like a girl or not.

    Cooking.

    Then the looks dept kicks in.
    That's Great Roky!!
    PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
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    You Should Not Give In To Evils, But Proceed Ever More Boldly Against Them!! -from book six of Virgil's Aeneid
    Everything Within The Universe Is Related; We Are All Cousins!!

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