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- 06-17-2012 #141
Using the Best Tool to to the Job!
Mac for Graphics.
Android for Mobile.
Windows for Solitaire.
EDIT: Mods, can you kindly transfer this to Jokes Threads please. Thanks!nujinini
Linux User #489667
- 06-17-2012 #142
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
- 06-22-2012 #143
All the passengers are seated on a plane out on the tarmac and the stewardess announces "we're just waiting for the pilots.".
The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind.
There are murmurs among the passengers, and some believe it is a joke. The men board the plane and go into the cockpit. More concerned murmurs and uneasy chuckles from the passengers.
The plane taxis normally to the runway and begins it's takeoff. As passengers look out the window they realize they are nearing the end of the runway.
The entire passenger cabin begins screaming but the plane lifts off just before the end of the runway. The passengers calm down and chuckle to themselves.
In the cockpit, the pilot turns to his copilot and says "you know, one day those people are gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die!"
A higgs-boson particle walks up to a Catholic church.
The priest stops him at the door and says "I'm sorry, you can't participate in our service today."
The higgs-boson particle says "What?! You can't have mass without me!"
A Biker and a rabbit are relieving themselves in the woods.
The Biker turns to the rabbit and asks, ""Do you have a problem with poo sticking to your fur?"
Rabbit says "No?"
Biker wipes himself with the rabbit.
- 06-22-2012 #144What do we want?
When do we want 'em?
Doesn't really matter does it!?
The Fifth Continent
- 06-22-2012 #145
- 06-23-2012 #146
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to s*!t yourself when I tell you the price!"
- 06-23-2012 #147
Good one Taz.Registered Linux user #526930
- 06-24-2012 #148
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
What do vegans feed their cats?
- 06-24-2012 #149
Aircraft hits four buildings
This is tough to watch. It just shows the dangers of attending these events.
Air Show Disaster - Amazing photo shows great detail.
The pilot at low level had no control over his aircraft.
It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for the air show and slams into four buildings.
One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings.
Probably scared the crap out of them.
- 06-24-2012 #150
Thanks Roky!!PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
Linux user # 414321
You Should Not Give In To Evils, But Proceed Ever More Boldly Against Them!! -from book six of Virgil's Aeneid
Everything Within The Universe Is Related; We Are All Cousins!!