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Originally Posted by MikeTbob First off, apologies to the ladies for all these tasteless men jokes. Sorry. Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years. ...
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  1. #251
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeTbob View Post
    First off, apologies to the ladies for all these tasteless men jokes. Sorry.


    Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years.
    Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
    Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
    Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire
    "Ron, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
    "Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new sexy nightie.
    She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. Then she smiled and said, "Do anything you want."
    So, here I am. *
    That's Great Mike!!
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  2. #252
    Administrator MikeTbob's Avatar
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    Nope.jpg
    Clicky for larger image.


    A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him..
    The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?'
    The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it..'
    'You are wasting your time,' said the boy.
    'Why is that?' the mom asked puzzled.
    'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up

    >/RIMSHOT!
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  3. #253
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeTbob View Post
    'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up

    >/RIMSHOT!
    Oohhhhh..... SNAP!
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  5. #254
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    Look Out; Mike's on a Roll!!
    MikeTbob likes this.
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  6. #255
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    NOT child appropriate!

    I wouldn't post this... but we have some talk going on about Star Wars in the Movies thread.
    Not appropriate for kids, as there are a good deal of cuss words here.

    Full Metal Star Wars - Gunnery Sgt Vader - YouTube

    *WARNING*
    Foul language.... sounds dubs from Full Metal Jacket drill session!!!!
    Jay

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  7. #256
    Linux Engineer MASONTX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeTbob View Post
    First off, apologies to the ladies for all these tasteless men jokes. Sorry.


    Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years.
    Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
    Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
    Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire
    "Ron, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
    "Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new sexy nightie.
    She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. Then she smiled and said, "Do anything you want."
    So, here I am. *
    Best laugh I've had in a long time.
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  8. #257
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    Poor Hazel has to be shaking her head just about now... Definitely tasteless Man Jokes... :ROFLMAO:

    Of course, my sister can tell "off color" jokes as well as most men, and often better! Also, in multiple languages!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  9. #258
    Linux Engineer MASONTX's Avatar
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    Perhaps Hazel can supply some examples of British jokes. Of course Monty Python and Bennie Hill weren't beacons of cultural enlightenment either.
    Registered Linux user #526930

  10. #259
    Linux Guru Rubberman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MASONTX View Post
    Perhaps Hazel can supply some examples of British jokes. Of course Monty Python and Bennie Hill weren't beacons of cultural enlightenment either.
    Well, I consider myself "culturally enlightened", and I have complete collections of both Monty Python AND Bennie Hill! I started watching MP in 1975 when my wife started graduate school in physics. Every Saturday night, we'd get together with some friends (other math, CS, and physics grad students) and play bridge, hearts, spades, pinball games, and video games (they had an IMSAI 8080 S100 bus computer for R&D). Then we would watch MP, BH, and Saturday Night Live (starting with the first season!). Good times! Recently, I was able to find on the Usenet a copy of the VERY first SNL broadcast, with George Carlin as MC, and Billy Preston and Janice Ian for musical talent! Talk about the Way Back Machine!
    Sometimes, real fast is almost as good as real time.
    Just remember, Semper Gumbi - always be flexible!

  11. #260
    Linux Engineer MASONTX's Avatar
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    Not that Monty Python and Bennie Hill weren't funny, but they are usually not listed as examples of great culture and refinement. More for the average person than the symphony and opera crowd, although there are doubtless many who enjoy both types.
    Registered Linux user #526930

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