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Mr Harris, the 3rd grade teacher asked, 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it." He pointed to a little girl in the back ...
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  1. #51
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    Mr Harris, the 3rd grade teacher asked, 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it."

    He pointed to a little girl in the back of the class and said, "Now, Iris, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'

    Iris replied, 'Because George still had the axe in his hand?'
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  2. #52
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    An old Dog starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

    The old Dog thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep s*** now!"
    Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Dog exclaims loudly,


    "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"

    Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.


    "Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Dog nearly had me!"

    Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

    The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

    The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

    Now, the old Dog sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Dog says ......


    "Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

    Moral of this story...


    Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
    Bull S*** and brilliance only come with age and experience
    elija, Lakshmipathi and MikeTbob like this.
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  3. #53
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    Roky Strikes Again!!
    PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
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    You Should Not Give In To Evils, But Proceed Ever More Boldly Against Them!! -from book six of Virgil's Aeneid
    Everything Within The Universe Is Related; We Are All Cousins!!

  4. #54
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    A wife texts her husband on a freezing afternoon.

    "Honey, Windows frozen. Can't open."

    The Husband texts back.

    "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

    Wife texts back about 5 minutes later.

    "Well, the computer is really screwed up now!"
    jayd512 and MikeTbob like this.
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  5. #55
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    A boy asks his mother if he can have some advice.

    "Mom, I have butter up a teacher. She had us write a essay
    and I wanna get a good grade on it. What did you do to make
    a teacher look on you favourably when you were my age?"

    Smiling down on her Boy. Who she loved very much. She says,

    "Honey. Back in the day. We would bring a shiny red apple
    and give it to the teacher."

    Next Day. The boy firmly strides up to the teachers desk
    and says,

    "It is not red. They only had it in white. It only is 1
    gig and is a generation 1."
    Linux Registered User # 475019
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  6. #56
    Penguin of trust elija's Avatar
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    You've probably all seen this already but the last one nearly made me cry!
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    "I used to be with it, then they changed what it was.
    Now what was it isn't it, and what is it is weird and scary to me.
    It'll happen to you too."

    Grandpa Simpson



    The Fifth Continent

  7. #57
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    If you shoot a criminal who broke into your home; you should not tell the responding police officers these 10 things:
    The Top Ten Things NOT To Say After a Defensive Gun Use

    Here Are Some Lost In Translation Airport Signs:
    Lost in translation: Hilarious advice signs from foreign airports... where their English leaves a little to be desired | Mail Online


    When I got home from the store today I found the following in my in box:

    A Trinidadian, a Jamaican, a Barbadian and a Grenadian went to New York for the Labor Day weekend. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl, the Grenadian, because he snored so loudly. They decided it wasn’t fair for the same person to stay with Daryl every night, so they voted to take turns.

    The Jamaican slept with Daryl on the first night and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, ‘Man, what happened to you?’ He said, ‘Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.’

    The next night it was the Bajan’s turn. In the morning, he arrived for breakfast with hair all disheveled, eyes all blood-shot. They said, ‘Man, what happened to you? You look awful!’ He said, ‘Man, that Daryl! He shakes the roof. I watched him all night.’

    The third night was the Trinidadian’s turn. Frank was a big burly wrestler from Laventille. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and chipper. ‘Good morning,’ he said. The others couldn’t believe it! They said, ‘Man, what happened?’

    He said, ‘Well, when we got ready for bed I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night … He sat up and watched me all night.’
    Last edited by cousinlucky; 03-20-2013 at 06:15 PM.
    jayd512 and Lakshmipathi like this.
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    Everything Within The Universe Is Related; We Are All Cousins!!

  8. #58
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cousinlucky View Post
    He said, ‘Well, when we got ready for bed I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night … He sat up and watched me all night.’

    I been telling folks for years... Think outside the box!
    Jay

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    I do not respond to private messages asking for Linux help. Please keep it on the public boards.

  9. #59
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    Have you guys ever seen such kind of sign board , i think it is not
    less than a joke.
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  10. #60
    Administrator MikeTbob's Avatar
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    I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

    The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
    ShortnBearded likes this.
    I do not respond to private messages asking for Linux help, Please keep it on the forums only.
    All new users please read this.** Forum FAQS. ** Adopt an unanswered post.

    I'd rather be lost at the lake than found at home.

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