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Originally Posted by Lakshmipathi 1 former linux user who still frequents the forum, to suggest to install an Apple iBulb, which has a fresh and innovating design and it costs ...
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  1. #71
    Administrator jayd512's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lakshmipathi View Post
    1 former linux user who still frequents the forum, to suggest to install an Apple iBulb, which has a fresh and innovating design and it costs 250 $.
    LOL... and now we wait for this to hit the market!
    Lakshmipathi likes this.
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  2. #72
    Linux Engineer MASONTX's Avatar
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    you left of the list t3 who complain they can't offer a solution until the poster gives the make, model and electrical specifications of the lamp, 4 to argue that it doesn't matter what model of lamp, but the specifications of the bulb are critical, 8 to debate the merits of various bulbs, and 1 who a year later comes back with an obvious solution.
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  3. #73
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    In case you don't know what one looks like

    Attachment 4959
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  4. #74
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    Marrying an old guy

    An old man marries a pretty young thing and takes her to a posh hotel for the honeymoon.
    All the hotel staff have a bit of a chuckle, imagining the old guy coming to breakfast completely exhausted.
    The next morning the couple come down to breakfast, but it's the young wife who looks exhausted and the old guy is chirpy as a teenager.
    After two weeks of the same scene, a receptionist can't resist asking:
    "You've been exhausted every day of your honeymoon.
    We all thought your husband would be knackered, but he's fit as a fiddle."
    "Yes,"
    says the young bride,
    "When I married him he said he'd been saving up for this moment for 40 years. I thought the bastard meant f*ckin' money."

  5. #75
    Linux Enthusiast cousinlucky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint_El View Post
    Marrying an old guy

    An old man marries a pretty young thing and takes her to a posh hotel for the honeymoon.
    All the hotel staff have a bit of a chuckle, imagining the old guy coming to breakfast completely exhausted.
    The next morning the couple come down to breakfast, but it's the young wife who looks exhausted and the old guy is chirpy as a teenager.
    After two weeks of the same scene, a receptionist can't resist asking:
    "You've been exhausted every day of your honeymoon.
    We all thought your husband would be knackered, but he's fit as a fiddle."
    "Yes,"
    says the young bride,
    "When I married him he said he'd been saving up for this moment for 40 years. I thought the bastard meant f*ckin' money."
    That is on the floor funny! Thanks!
    PCLinuxOS Gnome and PCLinuxOS Mate
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  6. #76
    Linux Guru Lakshmipathi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MASONTX View Post
    1 who a year later comes back with an obvious solution.
    haha, that happens
    First they ignore you,Then they laugh at you,Then they fight with you,Then you win. - M.K.Gandhi
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  7. #77
    Just Joined! darqtanian's Avatar
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    what did baby corn said to mama corn??



    ...
    ..
    ...
    ..
    where's pop corn? hahaha

  8. #78
    Linux Guru Lakshmipathi's Avatar
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    Disorder in the American Courts

    ____________________________________________
    Attorney: What is your date of birth?
    Witness: July 18th.
    Attorney: What year?
    Witness: Every year.
    _____________________________________

    Attorney: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Attorney: How long has he lived with you?
    Witness: Forty-five years.
    _________________________________

    Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    Witness: Yes.
    Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    Witness: I forget..
    Attorney: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
    ___________________________________________

    Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    ____________________________________

    Attorney: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
    Witness: He's 20, much like your IQ.
    ___________________________________________

    Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    Witness: Are you shitting me?
    _________________________________________

    Attorney: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    Witness: Yes.
    Attorney: And what were you doing at that time?
    Witness: Getting laid
    ____________________________________________

    Attorney: She had three children , right?
    Witness: Yes.
    Attorney: How many were boys?
    Witness: None.
    Attorney: Were there any girls?
    Witness: Your Honor, I think I need a different Attorney. Can I get a new Attorney?
    ____________________________________________

    Attorney: How was your first marriage terminated?
    Witness: By death..
    Attorney: And by whose death was it terminated?
    Witness: Take a guess.
    ___________________________________________

    Attorney: Can you describe the individual?
    Witness: He was about medium height and had a beard
    Attorney: Was this a male or a female?
    Witness: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
    _____________________________________
    Attorney: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your Attorney?
    Witness: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ______________________________________

    Attorney: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    Witness: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
    _________________________________________

    Attorney: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    Witness: Oral...
    _________________________________________

    Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    Witness: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
    Attorney: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    Witness: If not, he was by the time I finished.
    ____________________________________________

    Attorney: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    Witness: Are you qualified to ask that question?
    ______________________________________

    Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    Witness: No.
    Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
    Witness: No.
    Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
    Witness: No..
    Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    Witness: No.
    Attorney: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Attorney: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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  9. #79
    Penguin of trust elija's Avatar
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    Brilliant!

    My favourite American court room quote:

    Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
    Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

    The wonderfully poetic, all time great mistranslation in to English from a brochure at a Tokyo car rental firm.

    "When a passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigor."
    Lakshmipathi likes this.
    What do we want?
    Time machines!

    When do we want 'em?
    Doesn't really matter does it!?


    The Fifth Continent

  10. #80
    Linux Guru rokytnji's Avatar
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    Reality is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.

    If the human brain was simple enough to be understood, we would be too simple to understand it

    Non-survival is the odds of the least fit... but then lucky beats fit.
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