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I recently wrote to Microsoft tech support with a problem my dad's computer was having. I might have mentioned that I run Linux, and the problem was that he was ...
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- 05-20-2005 #1
- Join Date
- Apr 2005
- Charlottesville, VA
Microsoft replies to BSoD
Linux without a C Compiler is like eating Spaghetti with your mouth sewn shut. It just doesn't make sense.
- 05-20-2005 #2
- Join Date
- Oct 2004
- Arizona, USA
awesome, that blue screen of death....Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.
Registered Linux Machine #293111
Registered Linux User #371115
- 05-20-2005 #3
- 05-20-2005 #4
Originally Posted by dylunioYou can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- 05-20-2005 #5
Kinda off topic but still funny the following was emailed to me a looooong time ago, still funny every time I read it.
From the WordPerfect Help Desk
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
- 05-20-2005 #6
That person should not have been fired, but given a raise.
The person that needed help did not have any business being around a computer.How to know if you are a geek.
when you respond to "get a life!" with "what's the URL?"
New users read The FAQ
- 05-20-2005 #7Microsoft tech support with a problem my dad's computer was having. I might have mentioned that I run Linux, and the problem was that he was getting a blue screen whenever his computer booted up.
User: Yes, the system halts shortly after start up and displays a blue screen with a long string of characters…..
TechSupport: Sir, did I understand you to say that there is a Linux implementation installed on the premises?
User: Yes, well, but that is on my laptop in the other room….
TechSupport: I believe I understand what is going on. It’s one of our wonderful new features that’s uploaded to your PC without your knowledge or consent. It’s called Product DeActivation, and its designed to ensure that your entire digital household is safe and secure by using only Genuine Microsoft Windows…..
User: What the fu…….
TechSupport: ….and this feature detects any dangerous and subversive non Microsoft operating systems in the vicinity….and it will attempt to safely remove them and repair the detected device by reinstalling Genuine Microsoft Windows……..
User (pulling hair) you’re kidding right?? RIGHT????
TechSupport:…..and if this repair process, which we call Product Reclamation, fails, then you will see the Product DeActivation screen, which is to inform you that you should manually uninstall the foreign operation system and purchase an additional $300 USD license for Genuine Microsoft Windows to ensure……
User (gagging) This is a dream…this can’t be happening…
TechSupport:….and soon we will be extending this feature to your entire community. This will be called the Microsoft Safe Neighborhood and it will ensure that….
User: (raising hammer): I got your product DeActivation right here…..
- 05-20-2005 #8
haha nice one!You know, aliens are going to come to earth in 50 years and kill the hell out of us for DDoSing their networks with this SETI crap
registered linux user #388463
- 05-20-2005 #9
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
yes, JoeB, that was a funny one, but believe it or not, societies evolve over time and what we find funny and absurd today, becomes SOP tomorrow
i remember when social security numbers were taboo for anyone to ask, even motor vehicles
now its standard for everyone, even the friggin telephone company asks for your social security number
- 05-20-2005 #10
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
JCaserta's story is a funny one but an urban myth I'm afraid.