A blonde went to the mail box several times way before it was time for
the mailman to make her rounds.

A neighbor noticed the repeated trips to the curb and asked if the
wait was for a special delivery.

"No," was the reply, "My computer keeps telling me I have mail."

... - Ok, that was pretty lame - how about:

A lady is feeling a bit down in the dumps and decides to treat herself to a
meal at the Ritz. She manages to get a table that very night and enjoys a
delicious meal on her own, nothing too extravagant but nice all the same.

The head waiter brings the bill and she's horrified to see the total: 150
bucks! She didn't expect this at all and asks the waiter, "Would you mind
holding my breasts while I write the check please?"

The head waiter is taken aback. In all his years in the job he's never been
asked that before, but always eager to please the customer, he obliges.

She gets up to leave and the waiter is still perplexed.

His curiosity gets the better of him and he catches up with her at the
"I'm sorry to bother you Miss but I'd like to know why you asked me to do
that just now."

"Oh it's quite simple really" she replies "I love to have my breasts held
when I'm being screwed!!!"