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Call placed to 1-800-4-ONLINE, the number to order an AOL startup kit. ::::::::ring:::::::: AOL: America Online, this is Diane speaking. Me: Hi, I have some questions about American Online before ...
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  1. #1
    Banned Richard_The_Lionhearted's Avatar
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    Prank calls to AOL representatives


    Call placed to 1-800-4-ONLINE, the number to order an AOL startup kit.

    ::::::::ring::::::::

    AOL: America Online, this is Diane speaking.

    Me: Hi, I have some questions about American Online before I join.

    AOL: Okay sir what's your question?

    Me: Well, some of my friends who have AOL say they get something called
    "cybersex"... does this cost extra?

    AOL: :::quiet laugh in the background::: Well sir...I don't know how to
    explain this, but cybersex is not part of America Online.

    Me: Oh really? My friends said they got it from AOL.

    AOL: Well its something members typically do when they go to a chat
    room.

    Me: Humm...I don't understand, what is cybersex??

    AOL: I'm sorry I really don't know how to explain it.

    Me: Humm..well, have you ever had cybersex?

    AOL: Sir I don't think that's an appropriate question to be asking me.
    Is there anything else you need?

    Me: Sorry, like I said I don't even know what it is.

    AOL: That's okay sir, anything else?

    Me: Yes, I have one more question.

    AOL: Go ahead

    Me: What are you wearing?

    AOL: <click>

    :::Weird how she said "its something members typically do when they go to a
    chat room"...TYPICALLY? Well, we know what SHE does online :::

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    New User Troubles.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    AOL: America Online, this is Debby, how may I help you this evening?

    Me: Yes, I'm trying to become an AOL member, but I'm having problems
    making my account.

    AOL: Okay, what's happening?

    Me: It disconnects me saying Invalid Credit Card.

    AOL: What kind of credit card are you using?

    Me: Visa.

    AOL: Are you sure your card isn't expired?

    Me: Actually, it's a stolen credit card.

    AOL: Pardon, sir?

    Me: Yeah, I stole it. I just jumped some guy and pounded him until he
    gave me his card.

    AOL: Umm, sir I'm sorry I can't help you.

    Me: Aww, c'mon, I'll give you a cookie.

    AOL: Sir I have to go. <click>
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    E-Mail Confusion - AOL Prank Calls
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Call placed to AOL call center, 1-800-4-ONLINE

    AOL: America Online, This is Sarah, would you like to order America
    Online software?
    Sarah sounds like some hyperactive youngster.
    Me: Well, I'm not sure yet, I have a few questions first.

    AOL: Okay sir how can I help you?

    Me: With AOL, I can send E Mail right?

    AOL: Yes you can.

    Me: Okay....now... Who the hell is "E" and why does everyone want to
    mail him????

    Now is when I hear some giggles... she puts me on hold to gather
    herself.
    AOL: Please Hold.

    AOL: Okay, sir I'm back, sorry about that, we had a little problem
    here.

    Me: No problem.

    AOL: Okay.... well sir, "E" means electronic.

    Me: Now I'm even more confused.

    AOL: Hum... how so?

    Me: If "E" is electronic, how does it know what to write back?
    Here she lets out a sigh.... stressing to find a way to explain email to
    me.

    AOL: Sir can you hold on again?

    Me: Okay.

    AOL: Hello, this is the supervisor here.... what exactly is your
    question? Maybe I can answer that for you.

    Me: Well.... who, or what, is "E"...and why does everyone want to mail
    him?

    AOL: E-Mail means electronic mail, its a way you can send writing to a
    friend over the computer.

    Me: Ohh... simple enough... I feel so stupid.

    AOL: Haha, well... that's okay, you gotta learn somewhere. Do you
    have any other questions?

    Me: Yes, I heard that AOL has a problem with something my friends call
    'suckage'.

    AOL: Hmmm...what exactly is that?

    Me: Well, they say that AOL sucks, and that I shouldn't get it. But
    sometimes my friends are idiots, so I want to know, does AOL suck?

    AOL: Oh no it does not. AOL has the fastest connection to the
    internet, and over 9 million members!


    Of course it does! What was I thinking??

    Me: Not according to inside-aol ,aolwatch, pf@aol, aof, and many other
    web sites.

    AOL: Well, those kind of web sites have a lot of lies, why don't you
    come try out AOL for yourself?

    Me: Oh, so you've seen those sites?

    AOL: Yes, they are all lies.

    Me: How about those inside-aol prank calls?

    AOL: Oh boy.... is this one of those?
    It's a true honor to know moronic supervisors visit this site.... well,
    okay, not really.

    Me: Could be.

    AOL: Well, I need you to disconnect immediately.
    This man is sounding very scared... like I have a gun to his head over
    the phone.

    Me: What??

    AOL: I need you to disconnect, we have other calls to take.

    Me: haha... look down, there's this thing on your phone called a
    'hook'...you can hang up on me!

    This is when I hear a deep thinking "hmmm"....and he hangs up.

  2. #2
    Linux Newbie
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    Laugh Out Loud.

    Thanks.

  3. #3
    Just Joined! petergriffin's Avatar
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    That *really* did make me laugh! I think the best was the stolen credit card.

    I get the opportunity to wind many people up who telephone me with regards to selling advertising etc at my office. They always begin the conversation with "are you the owner of the business?" or "can I speak to the person who deals with your advertising?". Depending on my mood (and how busy I am) I will let them ask questions and answer what I think will not encourage them. For example, if someone telephones to try & sell me a 'cheaper' phone line, I tell them that I think telephones are 'evil' and I would never use one. It's fun listening to them stutter "but you're using one right now"... cue me chanting the Hail Mary & to be excused so I can go to confession.

  4. #4
    Linux Guru budman7's Avatar
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    Thanks Richard, I really enjoyed that.
    How to know if you are a geek.
    when you respond to "get a life!" with "what's the URL?"
    - Birger

    New users read The FAQ

  5. #5
    Banned Richard_The_Lionhearted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by petergriffin
    That *really* did make me laugh! I think the best was the stolen credit card.

    I get the opportunity to wind many people up who telephone me with regards to selling advertising etc at my office. They always begin the conversation with "are you the owner of the business?" or "can I speak to the person who deals with your advertising?". Depending on my mood (and how busy I am) I will let them ask questions and answer what I think will not encourage them. For example, if someone telephones to try & sell me a 'cheaper' phone line, I tell them that I think telephones are 'evil' and I would never use one. It's fun listening to them stutter "but you're using one right now"... cue me chanting the Hail Mary & to be excused so I can go to confession.

    If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?" Other wise just insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

  6. #6
    Linux Newbie jamey112's Avatar
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    haha thats great. they always ask for my parents, so i just say they died last week or something like that. their like 'oh umm im sorry bye' its great.
    Today I fell and felt better, Just knowing this matters, I just feel stronger and SHARPER!!!, Found a box of sharp objects, What a beautiful THING!!! Box of Sharp Objects - The Used

  7. #7
    Just Joined!
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    haha, i also like the credit card one

  8. #8
    Linux Guru Cabhan's Avatar
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    Sir, I urge you take this the right way:

    I love you .


    Those are very funny.

  9. #9
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    I once called the company that manufactured my computer (eMachines) and tried to order a pizza.... I don't remember it exactly but it went something like this.

    eMachines: Thank you for calling eMachines support. How can I help you?

    Me: I'd like two large two toppings, mushrooms and pepperoni, with breadsticks.

    eMachines: Excuse me?

    Me: You deaf or something? Make with the pizza!

    eMachines: I believe you have the wrong number

    Me: The hell I do. I called 304-472-3030, its right here on the phone's LCD

    eMachines: Our number is 1-801-401-1419

    Me: Well so it is!

    eMachines: (Mutters something that sounds like "f**king idiot" before the phone goes dead)

  10. #10
    Linux Newbie
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    hahaha... revenge is sweet....

    its a pitty i cant prank call bigpond... after 40 minutes of holding, i have forgotten what i was ringing for
    GAH!!!

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