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Ellis Rubenfeld, an elderly man in Florida, owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and ...
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  1. #1
    Linux Guru fingal's Avatar
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    End of week funny


    Ellis Rubenfeld, an elderly man in Florida,
    owned a large farm for several years. He had a large
    pond in the back, picnic tables, horseshoe courts,
    and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly
    shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

    One evening, Ellis decided to go down to the pond, as
    he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
    He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some
    fruit.

    As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
    laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was
    a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He
    made the women aware of his presence and they all
    quickly went to the deep end.

    One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out
    until you leave!"

    The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch
    you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond
    naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to
    feed the alligator."

    Moral: Old men can still think fast.
    I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso

  2. #2
    Linux Guru techieMoe's Avatar
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    Nice.
    Registered Linux user #270181
    TechieMoe's Tech Rants

  3. #3
    Linux User geese's Avatar
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  4. #4
    Linux Newbie
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    true story? (usually in jokes the dude doesnt have a name so it made me wonder if its true...)

  5. #5
    Linux Engineer LondoJowo's Avatar
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  6. #6
    Linux Guru AlexK's Avatar
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    thanks, i needed a good laugh after a horrible exam
    Life is complex, it has a real part and an imaginary part.

  7. #7
    Linux Guru fingal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlexK
    thanks, i needed a good laugh after a horrible exam
    Good! That's what I hoped for. As for being true? I think it's an urban myth. The person who sent it to me originally had a similar story about a woman who thought she'd been shot in the back of the head. I might as well let you have that one as well! I would just like to say, a female friend sent me this and I'm also blonde ...

    Killer Biscuit Wanted for Attempted Murder ( actual headline! )

    Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

    One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay and Lisa replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

    The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

    A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.

    When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. Lisa is blonde.

    This might be fun if you enjoyed that.
    I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso

  8. #8
    Linux Enthusiast
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    haha I love blonde jokes

  9. #9
    Linux Newbie
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    You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

  10. #10
    Linux Enthusiast carlosponti's Avatar
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    there is a show on called mythbusters and they had a bit on this one but i dont remember the outcome though they did have some explode in the car pretty funny site.
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