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Ellis Rubenfeld, an elderly man in Florida, owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and ...
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- 09-01-2005 #1
End of week funny
owned a large farm for several years. He had a large
pond in the back, picnic tables, horseshoe courts,
and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly
shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening, Ellis decided to go down to the pond, as
he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was
a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He
made the women aware of his presence and they all
quickly went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out
until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch
you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond
naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to
feed the alligator."
Moral: Old men can still think fast.I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso
- 09-01-2005 #2
Nice.Registered Linux user #270181
TechieMoe's Tech Rants
- 09-01-2005 #3
- 09-01-2005 #4
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Turn Around
true story? (usually in jokes the dude doesnt have a name so it made me wonder if its true...)
- 09-01-2005 #5Dell Precision T7400 Workstation
Dual 3.33Ghz Xeon "Harpertown" Core
16GB PC5300 DDR2 ECC CL5
BFG GeForce GTX 285 OC 2GB
HP w2408 24" Monitor
Dual Boot:openSUSE 11.2/Win 7 Ultimate
- 09-02-2005 #6
thanks, i needed a good laugh after a horrible examLife is complex, it has a real part and an imaginary part.
- 09-02-2005 #7Originally Posted by AlexK
Killer Biscuit Wanted for Attempted Murder ( actual headline! )
Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay and Lisa replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. Lisa is blonde.
This might be fun if you enjoyed that.I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso
- 09-02-2005 #8
- Join Date
- Feb 2005
- Luton, England, UK, Earth
haha I love blonde jokes
- 09-02-2005 #9
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- 09-02-2005 #10