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A husband heads out for the day and leaves his wife the following message: Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs, ...
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  1. #1
    Linux Guru fingal's Avatar
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    Another joke


    A husband heads out for the day and leaves his wife the following message:

    Dear wife,

    You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs, which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.

    Your Husband.


    When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

    Dear Husband,

    You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

    Don't wait up.
    I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso

  2. #2
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    heh, good one


    Subject: Marriage
    Secrets to a Happy Marriage

    1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
    2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
    3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
    and MOST important....
    4. It is important that these three women never meet


    Jason

  3. #3
    Linux Engineer kriss's Avatar
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    Haha great ones

  4. #4
    Linux Guru sarumont's Avatar
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    Always good to have a few funny jokes to help out a ****** week.
    "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so."
    ~Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  5. #5
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    A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and
    everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of
    the grief they have experienced, He decides to grant them one wish each
    before they enter Paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first
    one what their wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His
    fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says, "I
    want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is
    granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line,
    the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people
    left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches
    this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and
    says, "Make 'em all ugly again."

  6. #6
    Linux Guru fingal's Avatar
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    Okay, another one for you:

    A little girl goes to her dad and asks, "What is politics?"
    Dad says "Well daughter, let me try to explain it this way:
    I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism.
    Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call
    her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs,
    so we'll call you the People.

    The Nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your
    baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that
    and see if that makes sense."

    So the little girl goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has
    said. Later that night, she hears her baby brother crying, so
    she gets up to check on him. She finds that the baby has severely
    soiled his diaper. So the little girl goes to her parents' room and finds
    her mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, she goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, she peeks in the
    keyhole and sees her father in bed with the nanny.
    She gives up and goes back to bed.

    The next morning, the little girl says to her father,
    "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
    The father says, "Good daughter, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

    The little girl replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the
    Working Class, The Government is sound asleep, the People are
    being ignored and the Future is in deep do-do!"
    I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso

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