Ok...The Shell Jokes Thread

[Stefann]

Was just messing around with CSH and decided what the hell, lets see what ar(Archiver) does if i m[ove] god into an archive.

% ar m god
ar: creating god
%

Odd, so I just created god, yeah now I rule the universe. Add your stuff here(and mods, please merge this and my other APT topic).

[Zelmo]

Oh yeah, I saw something like that a couple of years ago. Really cracked me up.
Here's a link to a page with a few more (worth the click!).

[Cabhan]

To this day, my favorite shell thing:

The following are all valid Linux applications and commands (note that the 'emerge' commands are Gentoo-only):

updatedb
locate
talk
date
cd
strip
look
touch
finger
unzip
uptime
gawk
head
emerge --oneshot condom
mount
fsck
gasp
more
yes
yes
yes
more
umount
emerge -C condom
make clean
sleep

And yes, you need to read them as a story, not as individual commands.

[AlexK]

A classic one:

man woman

Cabhan, that still cracks me up.

[Zelmo]

A few more from aleeya.net, using the korn shell:

$ cat "door: paws too slippery"
cat: cannot open door: paws too slippery

$ write "virgin forest"
virgin forest is not logged on.

$ look into "my eyes"
can’t open my eyes

$ man -kisses dog
dog: nothing appropriate

[Spyro_boy]

http://secant.chules.net/~spyroboy/?...&m=single&n=52
--
<sdousley> sdousley@homer ~ $ man woman
<sdousley> No manual entry for woman
<sdousley> hehe
<REdward>
<starrats> it's not man woman, it wo man
<REdward> ray@azure ~ $ wo man
<REdward> -/bin/bash: wo: command not found
<REdward> no it ain't
<sdousley> REdward: i prefer my "man woman"
* REdward too
<Krendoshazin> the only man page i can find on woman is about some browser
<REdward> azure ~ # emerge woman
<REdward> Calculating dependencies
<REdward> emerge: there are no ebuilds to satisfy "woman".
<sdousley> sdousley@homer ~ $ touch woman
<starrats> lol, REdward
<sdousley> touch: cannot touch `woman': Permission denied
<REdward> sdousley: hahaha
<mgraf> i touched woman last night
<REdward> i didn't
<sdousley> then touch it again
<sdousley> mgraf: hehe
<sdousley> my computer wont let me
<sdousley> sdousley@homer ~ $ man finger
<sdousley> No manual entry for finger
<mgraf> lol sdousley
<REdward> hehe i have finger installed
<starrats> you can prick your finger, but you cannot finger your prick
<sdousley> homer ~ # finger woman
<sdousley> finger: woman: no such user.

[AlexK]

Try these, it may look like gibberish, but it makes sense once you execute them.

echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]sb3135071790101768542287578439snlbxq' | dc
echo '16i[q]sa[ln0=aln100%Pln100/snlbx]sbA0D4D465452snlbxq' | dc

[Muser]

Try these, it may look like gibberish, but it makes sense once you execute them.

echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]sb3135071790101768542287578439snlbxq' | dc
echo '16i[q]sa[ln0=aln100%Pln100/snlbx]sbA0D4D465452snlbxq' | dc

Nice. Those are quite good.

[Amber]

Here's something I grabbed long ago.

[Spyro_boy]

Here's something I grabbed long ago.

lmao. I saw those on a site IIRC. I love the "Cannot make love. Stop" lol