children/computer monitoring software

[hilowe]

I'm going to preface this question by saying that I'm feeling really paranoid right now about this. I just saw an article online about a 13 year old girl that met some 19 year old on myspace, and got assaulted when they met. She supposedly was lieing on her myspace account about several things, but the article I read didn't mention what. I'm assuming age.

Now for my question. I have two children, that I will be introducing to computers (currently my son is 3 years old, and my daughter is only a few months). I'm trying to think ahead and be proactive about a lot of things, including when (not if) they start lieing to me, and hiding things. I'm not that old that I forgot what I said and did to my parents.

I haven't had a chance to look very hard, yet, but I haven't seen Linux computer monitoring software that will report what my child was doing on the computer. I'm afraid that one of them will do something very similar to this when they come of that age. I know I have several years before I really have to start worrying about this, but I would just feel better know it's out there.

[a12ctic]

theres probobly firefox/opera plugins to do that sort of thing.

[Javasnob]

What kind of monitoring do you have in mind? If you want complete and total monitoring of everything they're doing, look into VNC.

[benjamin20]

assuming you are computer literate, you should first of all make sure that you expose your child to everything that could affect them at the appropriate age, with the view and information they need to know. dont let there friends tell them about what it is, you need to get to them first. tell them of the dangers of internet communication, and tell them of how people may try to get information that they wouldn't need to now unless trying to do something bad. there friends wont tell them, its not important to them. its your responsibility to tell them of the importance.

the main goal is to teach your kid how to build his own defenses in life. you are a teacher and a guide. if you build there defenses for the, what will happen when they are under siege and you aren't there?

also, the sooner you teach them, they better they know, but don't forget to let them be kids. 3 year olds don't need to know about rape, i really don't think your 3 year old will get a myspace on his own. but your one day 8 year old might.

also, don't think myspace is the the big bad bed of evil. a lot of good comes out of it, its just it is a machine, a machine isnt good or bad, the operator is though. myspace is targeted because it is the top. its like how mcdonalds is targeted for being "unhealthy" even though they are just one in a million. i know people that wont go to mcdonalds but will go to taco bell of burger king, as if they are any better. walmart get all the flack, but what about target? i often see many people say that they don't want there kids using X program because the news said it was bad. but there is so much wrong with the belief its not even funny.

[Vergil83]

I would have to agree with Javasnob. It depends on what you want to do. Sadly, this is going to be much harder in the future as cellphones will have full internet access, etc.... Also, don't assume that myspace is going to be popular in the future. Hell, friendster used to be the thing like 3 years ago, now who cares? Perhaps the tension between privacy and freedom will be settle by then (not likely )

[hilowe]

I don't think of myspace as a big, bad, evil thing. It was just the connecting point in the article that got my paranoia to working overtime. It's not like I'm going to tell him he could never use myspace (or whatever happens to be popular at that time), because I know that there is a lot of good that can come of it, just as there is the potential for a lot of bad.

Like I said in my original post, I would just feel better knowing that the software is out there and available if my wife and/or I decide that we need to know what our children are doing on the internet. I want my children to always feel like I trust them, but there is just something about that peace of mind you get when you know they can't hide something from you very easily.

javasnob and vergil, thank you for the recommendation, I will definitely keep VNC in mind for the years to come when I may feel I need it.

[smolloy]

I'm not a parent so my advice may be a little naive, but it seems to me that if you do decide to go down the path of monitoring your kid's internet connection, it might be advisable to tell your kids that the computer is being monitored. That way you get a chance to explain to them that it is not them that you distrust, but others taking advantage of their inexperience and immaturity.

This may avoid future arguments if they figure out that you have been "spying" without their knowledge.

But as I said, I'm not a parent, so you may find that a little naive!