The other day, my nephiew and I were bored so we got some note book paper and started writing the idiots guide to being an idiot. We just wrote a numbered list of dumb things. It consisted of:

1.Offer your neighboor to SELL you some cookies.

2.Act like a salesman selling a carpet cleaner then go to a neighboors house, spill some grape juice on the carpet then say "whoops" then leave.

3. When staying the night at a friends house, put some shaving cream on your own hand, then tickle your freinds face, then slap it.

4.Go to a well known bar whipping out wads of cash, then order a glass of water.

5. Complain to the police station that all the GO signs are missing.

6.Google:Google

7.Brag about your car's minimum speed.

8.Go to the restroom of oposite gender and yell at them for all being in the wrong restoom.

9.Complain about your job to a garbage man.

10.Go to a store that says they sell, " Blank, Blank, N' More" and ask them where the N' More is.

11.Go into a bank wearing a black Skii mask and black jump suit and ask for chang for a $20.

12.Tell any one of these non-funny jokes then laugh histarically. (lengthy list)

-Ask me if im a tree.
are you a tree?
-no

-Why did the rose have wings?
-because it was a fork.( not supposed to make sense, that is why they are non funny jokes)

-There's a Football player, a school teacher and a bar tender on an air plane. Then the pilot says "Fasten your seat belt everyone, this is gonna be a bumpy ride. THEN the plane lands and the people get off.

-Knock Knock
whos there?
-Banana
banana who?
-knock knock
whos there
-banana
banana who?(repeat five times)
-Knock Knock
whos there?
-orange
orange who?
-orange you glad I am not gonna tell this joke again?

-Why did the Chinese guy eat his spageti with a spoon?
-because he didnt have a fork.

-Why didnt the turkey fly south for the winter?
-becasue it was a turkey (they dont fly)

-Why was the buisness man late for his meating?
-because he fell in the toilet. (My nephiews idea)

-Why did the doctor tell the 120 lb girl to lose weight?
-because she was only 3 yrs old.

-Why did the salseman sit on a pin?
-because he didnt know it was there.

-Why did the chef fall of his chair?
-because he lost his balance.

-Tell any of these dumb mama jokes
Yo mama's so fat she weighs 500 lbs
Yo mama's so poor she dosnt have any money
Yo mama's so ugly she looks like you
Yo mama's so dumb she got an F

-3 guys walked into a bar, the fourth one ordered a beer.

-3 guys walked into a bar, the fourth one got kicked out.

-3 guys walked into a bar, the fourth one decided he didnt feel like partyin so he stayed home.

-Why were the peanuts at the bar complimenting the man sitting at it?
-because he had a bit to much to drink.

-Why did the guy who was sweeping his carpet go around a 4X6 foot rectangle in the middle of the room?
-because there was a table there.

-Why did the guy with no-rub contact sollution have to rub his eyes?
-because he didnt use it.

-Why did the mans neighboot paint his fenc white?
-because he didnt like blue.

There are some more but I am sick of typing this all so this is all I will use.

Oh yeah and feel free to tell me about how stupid you think these are, i wond mind