An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
“So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
“Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
“I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Yes, It Is Quite Funny, Roky!!
Reminds me of a DWI we booked in this week. While we were booking him in the officer commented, "It seems you've had a little bit to drink." The drunk answered, "No sir, I've had a lot to drink."
You know, surprise sex in the morning is the best sex there is......
...... that is of course unless you are in jail. :D
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador retriever between them. The first man asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a sniffing dog.
"His name is Sniffer, and he's the best there is," he said. "I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work."
The plane took off, and once it had leveled out, the agent said,
"Watch this." He told Sniffer to "search."
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The agent said, "Good boy." He turned to the other man and said,
"That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number. The authorities will apprehend her when we land."
"Say, that's pretty neat," replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to his seat and placed two paws on the agent's arm.
The agent said, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police."
The agent then told Sniffer to search again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent. He jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poop all over the place. The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn't figure out why a well-trained dog would act like that, so he asked the agent,
"What's going on?"
The agent nervously replied, "He just found a bomb!"
I think that dog is more intelligent than every TSA agent out there! :lol: