it's all ok now guys, i dont know why i was running it as an applet, kinda lame if you ask me.

I created a new shortcut on my desktop to run the command xmms, and sure enough it brought up a beautiful XMMS, that looks JUST like winamp, and behaves just like it. everything is fine now, i'm a hardcore FreeBSD Administrator, and being in X is like a complete newbie fest to me. Thanks for dealing with me and helping me out guys

you all rock!