Laptop with C wiped clean, trying to install Ubuntu

[Nerdse]

I'm a linux newb sick of Windows whatever version even though I was on the way to power user, and switching to Linux. A friend recommended Ubuntu.

I got a used laptop, one of those ones somebody buys from the government but the HDD isn't in it (they shred them for security - literally!) and even the RAM had to be put in. I thought because it was clean it wouldn't be a problem to install Ubuntu. Also since for some reason not one of the manuals has any specs on the processor, I figured it had a new enough configuration to take the 64 bit Linux.

Well, the laptop, which has a hard time starting up because it doesn't have an OS, recognized the 64 bit but the message said it was a 32 bit processor. So I downloaded the 32 bit version. Repeatedly. The laptop has yet to even recognize the CD, even though it did recognize the one with the 64 bit. I had a CD-RW and had erased the previous install so decided to try burning a new CD, still no luck.

Anyone have any insights/advice/experience to share?

[D-cat]

The CDRW might be toasted; try burning a disc the slowest speed your drive allows. The 32 bit version is normally recommended as it is more widely tested, thus tends to be more stable anyway.

Do you know if this laptop can boot from a USB key? You might have better luck copying the CD to a USB stick, making it bootable, and working from there. Assuming your using 8.10, see this tutorial:
Ubuntu 8.10 Persistent Flash Drive Install from Live CD | USB Pen Drive Linux